Santa Claus has cancer.

First, if you do nothing else about this post, I desperately urge you to go read Leonard Pitts Jr's editorial
"Ailing 'Santa' is receiving gifts this Christmas".(Unfortunately, the Herald wants your info to read the column. I re-tell the story below anyway) It originally ran in the Miami Herald, but was reprinted today in the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin.

I was literally moved to tears. This man, Larry Stewart, a wealthy 58-year old businessman, instantly became one of my very favorite people. I think he's a believer, but I'm not sure. Irregardless, he taught me more about how to live my faith than any one I can remember. This man is literally a saint.

It started in 1979, with a 20 something Larry was eating at a drive up restaurant. He had just lost his job the week before Christmas for the second year in a row and was feeling low. Then he noticed the waitress. I'll quote the man if you don't mind. "It was cold and the carhop didn’t have on a very big jacket and I thought to myself, 'I think I got it bad. She’s out there in the cold making nickels and dimes.' "

He gave a her a twenty on a two or three dollar tab, and told her to keep the change. No small gesture in 1979. The woman's desperate, tearful thank you changed his life.
He withdrew $200 from his bank and passed it out to those who looked needy. And thus began almost three decades of anonymous giving. Reporters were allowed to follow him as he did his work, on the condition he not be named.

Now Larry has cancer, and he might miss his first Christmas since the Carter Administration. Mr. Pitts seems to think he might have let himself be reveled so that the kindness doesn't die with him. It won't. I won't let it. I don't have a lot to give, but I am going to give. And I challenge you. Anyone reading. Twenty Bucks. That's where he started. You can break it up in to four $5 bills, or give someone the whole twenty. Just find someone in need, and give it. If you really can't, give 10. Give five. But don't just drop it in a red kettle in a store front (a good charity, to be sure). Put it in a person's hand.

And if you do it to the least of these, you know what you get.
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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal

Turkey Extiction Level Event

I love Thanksgiving. For a couple of reasons.
1. Turkey! Man, I love hot fresh sliced turkey breast with stuffing and just a little gravy. MMmmmm!
2. Tomorrow, a handful of gadgets will fall in to my theoretical budget on the national holiday to worship the dollar god, Black Friday.
3. This is no longer the official, but it is the logical beginning of the Christmas season. I LOVE Christmas.

So, rather than the usual snarky fare here, I'd rather wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. May you remember how fortunate we all are, and how unfortunate others are. I wish all of you happiness and providence.

And, Merry Christmas!
"I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."
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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal

New Term: Handi-Crass

This is one of the less politically correct words I have come up with, but I'm not afraid.
Handicrass, 1; A disabled person so unrefined as to be lacking in discrimination and sensibility. 2; The elitist position of entitlement assumed by a small minority of people with highly visible disabilities.

Here's the story, I'm at the Home Depot the other day looking at plants for the outdoor hallway I refer to as my backyard. This is in contrast to the concrete parking lot with a soul patch of grass I refer to as my front yard (that's funny, I don't care who you are). So, I've got my giant, luxury shoppin' cart, courtesy of said Depot, and I'm looking at perennials, because I have a hard enough time with plants; I don't need any that are slated to die at the end of the season.

I am oblivious to the woman who has motored up to me until she says, "Excuse me, can't you see I'm in a wheelchair?" Now, I'd have been blocking this aisle for all but the smallest of humans and normal sized chimpanzees as I am a huge guy with a huge cart. The suggestion, however, that I deliberately set this situation up to harass the wheelchair bound has me so stunned I can't even mouth a reply. I am curt, but civil as I move my cart and return to selecting the foliage I wish to inflict with the evils of my tender love and care, so it can just die. It was several minutes later before "handicrass" occurred to me, and I almost wish I had thought of it then, but where would that get me. Part of what makes some people become handicrass is the bullet proof shield of taboo that isolates this particular subculture from criticism. I'd have just been labeled what ever "-ist" relates to oppression of the disabled. And who wants that? And to add insult to injury, she will always have a better parking spot than me. Maybe she is elite.

For those of you concerned, I didn't find anything to my liking, so all of the vegetation is still safe and secure at the Depot.


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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal

Rocky Delgadillo gave me 2.7 Million!

Once upon a time...

Like most macho firefighters would, Tennie Pierce taunted the brotherhood with cat calls of "Keep feeding the Big Dog" as he dominated a station volleyball game. This makes sense. Later, some other macho firemen mixed dog food into his spaghetti to "feed the Big Dog" so to speak, of which Tennie takes 2 bites. This makes sense, and frankly, is kinda funny. Macho fireman Tennie Pierce sues the three firefighters and the City of Los Angeles. This makes sense? The City Council and the City Attorney totally FOLD and give Tennie (cue the Dr. Evil pinkie) Two Point Seven Million Dollars! This makes... Wait.. Huh?!?! Let me state unequivocally, for the record, I would eat a can of dog food, out of a dog dish, on my hands and knees, every day for a month for 2.7 Million Dollars. Here's the LA Times story.

I'm sure Tennie was pissed. I would have been. Pranks can do that. But other guys that have worked in the station state that Tennie was a bit of a prankster himself. Have you seen Ladder 49? This kind of brutal hazing is all over that film. I hear is kind of common for guys who put there lives on the line to be pranksters. Now, had Tennie taken said fireman out on the blacktop and opened up a whole can of whupass on the guy, that'd be one thing. Taking the think to court for punitive damages? Kinda sissified, but ok. I get it. The City Council writing a check out of the taxpayers account for 2.7 million for what amounts to a Fear Factor challenge? No freakin' way!!!!

Oh, does it matter that Tennie is African American? And... should it?

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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal

Nation States

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned Nation States. I think I may not have given it it's due. Nation States is a simulator where you run your own government. But instead of say Civilization or SimCity, you don't have to pour hours and hours in the the sim. You steer the political direction of your country by proposing legislation on issues that come before your government. This is done by clicking on the argument you most agree with, or dismissing the issue entirely (which, to me, isn't as fun). You can literally spend minutes a day, like I do, or spend hours engaging in diplomacy through the forums, like others do. It's entirely up to you how you play and it's fun either way.

I represent The People's Republic of Platypus Rex. I've been called a New York Times democracy, although currently I am an inoffensive centrist democracy. You can check out my nation to see what everything looks like. I'm a junkie, but it's such an easy habit I'm ok with it. Just keep me out of the forums.

If you join up, shoot me a message letting me know who you are so I can spy on you.

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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal

Rumsfeld Resignation Summarized as a Mac OS X Screenshot

I could have just stole this jpeg and posted it, but this guys site deserves the traffic.
Any of you who have ever used Mac OS X will immediately get the joke.

Here's The Link | Here's the post on digg

My Civic Duty...

Well, it's election day. I voted a week ago because I'm a permanent absentee ballot subscriber. But you know, my faith in the system isn't what it used to be. I can't look at a single politician that governs me and say "He (or she) represents me." I am really sick of both parties, and wish I had an alternative.

So, I run my country my own way. What is he talking about? Nation States! It's a minimally invasive role playing game where you steer the destiny of your own nation. I run The People's Republic of Platypus Rex, an inoffensive centrist democracy. The amount of time you play Nation States is up to you. I give it a few minutes every couple of days. It's pretty engaging. I leave it up for your perusal. You can also fully geek out with political intrigue in the forums, but I don't go that far. I think it's more rewarding than voting. Maybe next chase I get, I'll seize power and become a dictator.


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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal

Hypocrite

I see this word being thrown around a lot these days, and I find it's use funny. Funny as in odd, like "it smells funny". Of course, the Mark Foley thing. The Ted Haggard thing. The John Kerry Thing... Wait, what's that? John Kerry, how so?
I know he didn't intend to insult our troops. However, I think making fun of someone's intellect, some one with the same ivy league education you have, and then omitting the one word that could take you from presidential hopeful to presidential "I-don't-think-so" pretty much makes you a hypocrite. It's like the pot calling the kettle black by using a racial slur. This poorly written and even more poorly (if possible) delivered poke at President Bush has been compared to the legendary "Dean Scream" as the stupidest way ever to end a political ambition. Not to mention that it implies little respect of the office he so badly wanted to occupy.

So, why so hard on Kerry? To make a point on hypocrisy, which is that we are ALL hypocrites. And don't lie to yourself (you can't lie to me personally unless you were to email platypibri at gmail dot com), you are a hypocrite. Unless you are a web crawler scanning my site, you are human, and as such you have made mistakes, and you have certainly compromised your morals. I don't care if you kept change that wasn't yours, slept with your friends girl, or just indulged in some excessive speed on a rare moment of uncluttered freeway. You have done yourself and others wrong. And if that doesn't drive it home for you, you have to know you have done things you don't want your kids, or future kids, doing. Hypocrite.

So, now that I've arranged my palette, here's my point. Hypocrite is one of those words, like racist, that is all too often used negate the merits of an opponent's view point. Calling someone a hypocrite means "I can safely dismiss your argument, and refuse it's moral impact on me." So, I'm going to get real vulnerable, to drive my point home.

For a couple of years just before I met my wife, I was desperately lonely. I despaired. I cannot remember a lower point in my life. My only social life was internet chat, which I spent hours doing, sometimes going to work having not slept. Having already had a long distance "relationship" that was supplemented by chat, it already felt somewhat natural to pursue romantic feelings online. Now, online, because it is by nature impersonal and artificial, the pace of online relationships is dramatically accelerated. And as ridiculous as it sounds, people date, go steady, pronounce a "chat marriage" and get a "chat divorce" In a matter of a month. Sometimes days. And what else does a "married" couple do, but engage in "cyber-sex" which will often evolve into phone sex, both of these supplemented by porn in an attempt to emulate the real feelings of a healthy human relationship. And as it is inherently unsatisfying, there is pressure to try more and different situations in pursuit of feeling.

Yes, I confess I lived this lifestyle for a while. I knew it wasn't healthy. I knew it was still debauchery, even if it was "cyber-debauchery". By grace I stopped myself before I downloaded and viewed anything illegal. No, I take that back. I did not stop myself, I was delivered from it. But, man, I walked to the edge and peeked over. So, now I'm a hypocrite, because I'm telling you that this life I lived is wrong. It's unreal, and unhealthy. The lack of satisfaction will drive you ever onward, like a junkie trying to reproduce that first high. And you'll never get that high again. So you go lower and lower. People fall to this stuff daily, ruining their lives spending whole paychecks on porn chasing that impossible desire. People destroy their families pursuing transient, artificial relationships rather than working on the real ones.

And I'm a hypocrite, because like a monkey on my back, internet porn whispers in my ear all the time. I use safe search on Google. I've taught my wife how to check up on me, and encouraged her to do so. I have to say no to it daily. Sometimes hourly. And because I have the audacity to "preach" to people about the danger, the evil, the life destroying poison that is internet porn, I'm a hypocrite. And I'll STAY A HYPOCRITE forever, for there is the slightest hope I can steer even ONE person away from the horror of porn addiction.

Pastor Ted Haggard believes homosexuality and drugs can ruin your life. The fact that he became a hypocrite and proved that point does not erase the truth of it. I'm sure he believes it now more than ever.

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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal

About the ads

Well, this blog here isn't my only ambition in online life, so I am playing with Google AdSense as a way of generating revenue. Right now, the target for this blog appears wide of the mark. And my total readership is about 4, so I'm not gonna get rich. I like Google ads because they load really fast and stay mostly out of the way. Don't hate me.
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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal

Blogs I like #5 Donny's Ramblings

#5 Donny's Ramblings: Diary of a FORMER Pornographer This is a recent find for me, and the epitome of what I think blogging is about. This is a real guy with a real issue and a real life struggle. And he puts it out there. I like a blog with a log of real life in it. I'm currently in a mood (mode?) where I am bored and irritated with consuming traditional (antique?) media. I read blogs and and listen to and watch podcasts. A little news to see who's blowing up who, the comics, and that's about it right now. It may change, but with a new blog to voraciously read, it may not have to. Good luck Donny.
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And that's enough for now.

Brian Norwood

Platypi Online: The Platypus Portal